Here's the plot, as it unfolds at the start: Because surely - surely - what most people want is to drive around having races, car fights, time trials and jumps to their heart's content, in a free and open racing world? I still struggle to believe that they are numerous enough to warrant targeting a game toward. I think it might be the Tylers of the Earth. There are some people out there who want Need For Speed: Payback to begin with a seemingly interminable number of tightly scripted missions in which control is incessantly wrested away from the player at all the most interesting moments, with cutscene after cutscene of the most unlikeable humans on Earth intoning cliches at one another ('Do I have a choice?!' 'There's always a choice.'). Jessica, the girl, says sensible things like, She drives getaway cars and complains about driving getaway cars, in between saying how much she likes driving getaway cars. She's not interested in all this silliness the boys are into! She's sensible, and a girl. Mac, when someone says, 'Stay quiet, and don't do anything reckless,' is someone who replies, 'Reckless?! Who, ME?!?!' 'Yap yap yap, you keep talking, but I keep winning!' 'The day's half over, or as I like to think of it, half full!'Īnother thing Mac says, in response to a baddy man at the beginning of a race no matter how many times you have to restart it after failing, Mac says things like, every single time the game's clock ticks past noon, Mac delivers all his lines in the sort of disappointing British accent that makes you want to change phone shop. But here in this universe, hideously it appears to be the game's writers who believe this. Mac, in a better universe than ours, would be here to offer a satirical representation of the most banal of over-confident stupid people - the sorts who speak exclusively in hackneyed aphorisms and think it's making them sound novel and interesting. Mac is the one who drives offroad and does skids! That's his personality there.

But most of the time he emits the personality of a cardboard cutout of a person. The sort of person who studiously observes the buzzwords his cooler friends are using and meticulously employs them as frequently as he can, in the belief that this will make him One Of Them. An insipidly bland little boy who whoops at E3 press conferences. Tyler is, I guess, what EA imagines the entire audience for NFS to be like. Tyler's always there with a witty comeback. Tyler is the human equivalent of a Post-it Note. His personality is that he's the fastest racer there is, and if his friends know anything about him it's that he's the fastest person there is.

He's the fastest racer there is! We know this because Tyler describes himself as the fastest racer there is, almost every time he opens his mouth. Worst of all, worstest person you could never hope to meet, is Tyler. I would like to introduce you to the worst people in the world.

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